Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Worth It

I stood in the kitchen this morning and broke into tears.

Some days I'm really on top of everything, and some days I'm just not.  It was 8 o'clock in the morning and, despite being up for 2.5 hours already, you couldn't tell by looking.

I had someone's spilled milk on my pajama pants, and someone else's snot on my shirt.  One kid lost their shoes, and another lost my keys.  The lunches were made and two kids were out the door to school.  Two down, two to go.
Getting ready for Shavuot
with flower crowns and fruit baskets

My keys.  Where were they?  Puriel had taken them to unlock the storage shed and pump up his soccer ball.  But his bus came and went.  He went.  Where are my keys?

I turned the house upside down and inside out.  It was actually already upside down and inside out, but it certainly didn't get turned right side up and out in the process.  Twenty frantic minutes passed.  The baby was randomly shrieking as she toddled after me through the house and my preschooler still refused to get dressed in his nice clothes for the Shavuot festivities at school.

I'll be late for work again...  Where are my keys?! My hair isn't even brushed yet and I'm still in those nasty pajamas.  [Sniff]  What's that?  Time out from searching for a diaper change.

Snap the snaps, wash my hands, straighten baby's clothes and she gives me a surprise. Shalva wraps her arms around my neck and says, "Ima. Pretty."  She plants a kiss on my cheek.

Surprise!
Right there, in that moment...in that precious, sweet moment...it's all worth it.  There could be an earthquake, or a tornado, or anything(!) happening and I wouldn't notice.  At 21 months, she somehow magically knows what it takes to make my day.  In that moment I find the strength and fuel to smile, finish dressing everyone, finally find my keys (they were in the boys' room), get everyone out the door, put in my hours at the office, take my elderly neighbor shopping, make dinner, get the kids to and from soccer practice, bathe them all, then tuck them in with a kiss and the bedtime Shema.

It just takes one little special moment, to see once again that it's all worth it.